Wedding Recaps: Day Before – Family Photos
November 9, 2009
The day before the wedding.
I’ll be honest, I was a nervous, cranky wreck.
Panicky, even.
This was a BIG deal, after all.
And while I loved seeing Nicholas, I was still as shaky as I could be.
That’s why it was so awesome to get out and hang out with Abbey, Nick and the photographers.
Having to hug and cuddle and love made us giggle self-consciously, but we secretly loved every minute.
Here are a few of my favorites for your enjoyment…
I have many favorites of the photos total, so this may take a few days…
(all photos taken by Lemin Studios)
Aren't we some cool cats?
We are very awkward subjects and while Abbey can flirt with the camera with the best of them, Nick and I felt VERY odd to be the center of attention.
LOVE.
It’s okay. Abbey loved us both anyway.
Yep. They're crazy!
Abbey thought she was hot stuff with her flirtatious eyes. Nick and I liked the hanging back and pretending we like each other part, too.
Awww. My new family.
We’re a good looking bunch, aren’t we?
I love the way that photo looks against the screen. She was having so much fun – they both were. All of us were.
I’m definitely glad I chose to have a family session the day before – it relaxed us a little bit and made us all remember we like each other.
One of my ALL TIME FAVORITE pictures of my daughter.
Abbey was so loving that day. Some pictures, like this one, didn’t start out being posed at all, but simply us hugging each other like we normally do and being caught in the act.
At the end of the day, I was back to thinking Nick was a rather yummy sort of man.
And he thought I was all right too.
That’s love for you.
Don’t worry – more to come… mush included.
Back and all.
September 8, 2009
This weekend was wonderful.
Absolutely wonderful.
Nothing big, nothing fancy.
Lots of walking and talking and just sitting around each other.
No major plan, no major anything.
Just. Having each other around.
Some moments we were bored. Some we were way too entertained. Some we were having ‘discussions’ but in all of it, we were comfortable with one another.
And the smell.
I love the way the man smells – like soap and man and happiness. I can’t explain it any other way than to say he smells like home. I sleep better in his arms for three days than I do in a month on my own.
And even when he wakes up at the BUTT CRACK OF DAWN I still love him – I just love him more when he gets up without trying to talk me into getting up too.
And he amuses me. He’s so focused – such a driven person when compared to my moseying.
We kept walking – miles we walked this weekend, sometimes talking, sometimes not – but he lacks the ability to mosey if the objective in question is to walk.
If he plans to walk he’s going to walk. Very focused on walking. No looking, just walking.
I teased him about this. About smelling the roses and enjoying life.
He laughed.
Said that the day was for walking, not smelling the roses, but when he was assigned the task of taking time to smell the roses, he’s the best damned rose smeller there is.
I like that he can laugh at himself.
There’s something comforting in that – as he couldn’t always.
But he can now.
And when I ask him why he says something pointed, something that doesn’t help, something that just stings a bit but has no useful purpose, he tells me he messed up, that I’m right, that he’s sorry, that it’s one of his least favorite flaws.
He says sometimes he says it because he wants to point out that he was right – but that he’s starting to realize that sometimes it doesn’t matter whether or not he’s right, especially not after the fact.
I like that he can see my side without being defensive.
I love that a little walk to him is 10 miles.
And that I drive him as nuts as he drives me but we’re still happy together.
I love that his body is gorgeous, his mind is sharp, and his character is iron man strong.
And that he doesn’t stare at other chicks in a rude way, but will totally joke with me if I say something first – like about the cycling chick with the massively mountainous boobs that were impossible to NOT stare at.
He complimented me, he wanted me, he touched me, he loved me, he hugged me.
We argued, we irritated, we disagreed, we snapped a little here and there.
And it was just wonderful.
How awesome is it to realize that you have a healthy normal relationship, despite the 3 years of distance… or as healthy and normal as possible with the 3 years of distance?
This is going to be hard – I’m not going to lie. We have a few hills to climb before anything in our lives together levels out.
But if I have to move mountains – I’m definitely going to have the right man beside me helping me push.
Yay for me.
September 2, 2009
These minute updates seem to come with longer spans of distance in between them lately.
It’s not that I don’t want to update, but I simply lack interesting stories to tell.
Or I’m too caught up in a life that is becoming increasingly complicated as October 10th surges closer and closer.
I’m THRILLED about marrying Nick… in a way that has only lately been catching up with me. I can’t believe he got so lucky, that he gets to keep me, and I can’t believe that I’m getting a guy that really does want to help make my life better, even if we don’t always agree on what it takes to do so.
I’m NOT thrilled about the wedding, as this thing has expanded into a mountain – something that does not reflect what this day means to me at ALL, but at the same time, I feel so much love from the people that are finding ways to expand this day… they all think they’re doing it in a way that would make me happy and that they’re trying makes me feel loved.
But telling everyone I wanted a small wedding wasn’t a joke. I just underestimated just how important this was to people who are important to me.
And so to the rest of the world I’ll keep my mouth shut.
At the end of the day we’ll all be happy.
I’ll have my silly photos in a wedding dress with a rubber chicken, they’ll have the big day that they want me to have, and I’ll be married to the most honorable man that I’ve ever met… that I’m not related to.
You see, the past weekend I went to two showers thrown by people that I’m beginning to know better. I met women I’ve only heard of – met them in quite a large group – and the sheer amount of detail and love that went into these events is absolutely amazing. It’s a talent and a blessing… and how lucky am I that they cared enough to share that with me?
I’d love to write to you about the gifts, but they weren’t what stuck out to me. I’m not going to lie, the little girl in me that has dreamed of her own china pattern for years LOVED that I finally got a set of the fine china I registered for. But the gifts that struck me were the little things. Like Nick’s old next door neighbor who gave me a recipe for homemade dog treats for my dogs – and made sure to make some for them before I left Louisiana. She also gave me the Dance Dance Revolution for the Wii – only technically she bought it because she felt like Abbey would be overlooked in all the gifts and she felt like I’d registered for that to bond with my daughter. And she was right.
Nick’s aunt made an afghan for us – and cried when she told me how she’d prayed for our relationship and our marriage as she was crocheting it – a bit cheesy, but touching because she was so sincere about it.
The women did crafts and made food and thought of every little detail to make my day happy and for me to feel special.
How blessed am I?
Leslie knitted me a shawl – one of the most gorgeous things I’ve ever seen in my life… something that almost begs to be framed instead of worn, though I’m not quite sure how I’d manage it. It’s beautiful and I’m TERRIFIED I’m going to do something to it, but it’s easily one of the most special presents I’ve ever received in my life.
And that my girls all came down, from out of town, and spent their hard earned money just to celebrate and hang out with me meant the world.
So life is going well.
Nothing is moving forward on the custody front – apparently they need more paperwork from me. That’s not frustrating at all. nope. Not at all. (yes, I’m gritting my teeth as I type this, what of it?)
I’m nervous about being the center of attention. Nervous about making a mistake.
Nervous about the fact that I still look like I swallowed a small midget and his horse and self conscious that those pictures are going to be the ones I have forever – instead of how young and beautiful I look I’ll never see past the weight.
I don’t like not knowing what’s next in my life and I am tired of living the life of a hermit.
I keep telling myself I have just another month to make it through before I can start saving money again, and move out of the apartment and back into the parents house – not an ideal, but definitely better than the other option, which is wasting my money on rent, over and over again.
I’m ready to get past this stage, to be able to stop living paycheck to paycheck.
I’m ready to contribute and find my sense of self worth that comes along with not overextending oneself.
I’m happy that’s coming up, if not happy that I’ll once again be giving up my privacy until the future makes itself slightly less murky.
It just doesn’t make sense to throw away $1000 on rent when that money could be used to save up for a house.
And so it’s back to adulthood.
Back to cleaning up the credit report that apparently is murky from lenders not realizing they no longer hold my student loans and therefore I can’t be late on payments to them…
Back to making sure that the car note is paid BEFORE it’s due rather than the day of.
Oh, and back to little luxuries. Like air filters for my car and, dare I say it, pants that go all the way to my shoes instead of my ankles.
How will I contain myself?!!?
I hope you all are great.
And I hope that your future, no matter how complicated, is as exciting and hopeful as mine is.
My wedding shawl from Leslie
I heart my child.
August 21, 2009
It’s a matter of truth that my daughter is going to call many times during the school year.
Her teachers know this – or are learning, the office knows this – out of pure experience, and both Abbey and I know this.
Normally it’s the usual ‘I’m sick’ followed by the ‘I can’t make it all day, Mommy!’ whine.
Today, however, it was the ‘I sprained my hand, I can’t write!’ conversation – a new one for us.
“How did your sprain your hand, Abbey?”
“Talking.”
(Insert long pause here where I started grinning…)
‘Talking? Talking hurts your hand?”
“Well, no. I was talking and I accidentally hit the bleachers…”
“Okay…”
“But I can’t write so I don’t know how I am going to do school for the rest of the day.”
“By writing very slowly and carefully.”
You get the basic idea.
How many parents do you know have their child try to call out after injuries from TALKING?
I can’t make this stuff up.
Parenting is awesome.
Gifts
August 3, 2009
So one of the things Nick and I have talked about is not doing wedding gifts for each other.
First off, it’s hard enough to support a teenager and secondly, using his money to buy him a gift would just annoy him. He’d rather it be in savings.
So when he started talking about buying me a road bike, I knew something was up.
Not that it’s for a wedding present – it’s really something he wants me to get into, something he wants me to try.
And I’d like to.
But I also worry about spending a grand on a bike I won’t ride, and so we go back and forth.
It also doesn’t help that a lot of them are ugly and I can’t see myself ever going 100 miles randomly like he tends to do on the weekend.
I don’t drive 100 miles on the weekends in a car – why would I on a bike?
A friend or two have joked about him buying me a gift he’d love to receive, but he just got a new road bike.
This one is MINE.
So on and on… me not thinking much of it, him calling me randomly with suggestions – I don’t know much about the bikes, only that I’m looking at entry level road bikes and low cost components… until I ran across THIS beauty:
Yum.
Now I’m much more motivated to look for bikes. It’s gorgeous.
Now I just have to hope that it’s actually comfortable as opposed to sexy and hope that I’m not too big to fit on a woman’s bike.
You don’t change the Vera Wang to fit your body, you change your body to fit Vera Wang.
Because I’m sick and wordless…
July 30, 2009
Falling in love is like owning a dog
an epithalamion by Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com
First of all, it’s a big responsibility,
especially in a city like New York.
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you’re walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain’t no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?
On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.
Love doesn’t like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.
Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know Don’t you ever do that again!
Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you’re all wound up and can’t move.
But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.
Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.
From Mrs. Champagne’s post on weddingbee.com today
July 24, 2009
Wow.
If there is ever a set of words or a feeling I’d want to carry in to my big day, something along those lines would be it.
Just reading that took away some of my nervousness – and it’s not even to me!
I know feelings like that don’t carry over into the every day – there is no possible way that that romance can hang around during air conditioners breaking, car problems, crying babies and what not.
But it definitely makes a difference when it’s there in the beginning – in the first minutes of that journey – it can help you remember later what you’re fighting for.
So, congrats to this totally unknown person, whose guy went out of the way to make those moments before totally warm and fuzzy.
Blessed.
July 19, 2009
This weekend.
One of those weekends where you realize that perhaps there are more angels on Earth than you originally thought.
Cheesy but true.
The party was wonderful and more detailed than even my wedding plans are at the moment. Everything was DIY and thoughtful.
And I’ll share more later about this joint party Nick and I shared with Ginny and Stephen, but for now I’ll leave you with one picture of the cake Nick’s cousin made and the glasses the decorated in both weddings’ colors.
Dancin’ with myse-elf
July 17, 2009
Why do some words and phrasing never write quite as they sound?
Been wedding counseling the past few days.
It’s fantastic.
It’s amazing to see how much we’ve actually discussed and put into practice – and how much of it we owe to “Love and Respect”. An amazing book.
It’s neat to hear Father Greg ask a question, have me give a response and have him turn to Nick and have Nick say that he totally agrees with my statement about him, or that we’re in agreement on certain things for our married life.
Some of it obviously not.
But I’m so lucky.
So damned lucky.
Finding this sort of relationship is RARE, folks.
And I can get upset with him just as you can get upset with anyone, but the man’s life really is absolutely influenced by loving me and wanting the best for me – and my happiness.
That’s special.
Another special thing?
My wedding dress arrived at the salon today!
Granted, they have to ship it to me, but did you hear me?
MY. WEDDING. DRESS.
I’m stunned.
I have a wedding dress.
I have a wedding dress because I’m having a wedding.
Holy crap! I’m having a wedding!
(breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.)
Today is one of those days where I feel like I’m lit up with a thousand little sparkling lights, each one representing one happy/excited/enthusiastic thought.
I love this age.
I love who I am.
I love the people in my life.
I don’t love everything in my life, but I definitely love the opportunity to change that.
Today is definitely a dancing kind of day.
On marrying at 29…
July 9, 2009
I’ve been asked by people along the way if I regret waiting until I’m 29 to get married.
I can’t yell NO! on the internet and have it come across correctly, but understand – that was a definite yelled NO!.
The thing that is different about getting married at 29 rather than when I was younger is simply – I know myself.
I’m not saying it’s impossible to know yourself at a younger age, but I don’t have the simple belief that things will be okay in my relationship just because I don’t believe in divorce as an out. (other than the 3 A’s, which are most certainly a talk for another time.)
I know now that things aren’t black and white on this, and that being able to live with something or someone isn’t simply defined by whether or not the relationship is GOOD at the moment.
But more about the character behind the relationship and the people fighting for it.
When I was younger I believed, as most young folks do, that love would solve all my relationship’s problems… that if we were going through bad times, love would either fly in and fix our problems or we didn’t love each other enough.
I’ve spent the majority of my twenties in and out of hard times – dealing with custody issues with my daughter and her father’s family, dealing with health issues with my family, and simply learning the hard way what it means to be an adult with a child that is too close to my own age.
Making the decision to marry Nick was a hard one.
One made over years – before he ever asked the question… and more than likely before he ever THOUGHT to ask the question.
I had to know who he was when he was angry. Who he was when I had a problem with our relationship. Who he was when expressing his own problems with our relationship. Who he was when he dealt with problems outside of our relationship.
And even more than that, who I was when I was with him dealing with those things.
And I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I can be on time for a movie. I can balance my checkbook. I can make decisions that will be unpopular with him simply because I believe they are RIGHT and even if he doesn’t agree, he’ll still love me and respect me and life will go on.
I don’t feel the need to change my views or opinions to fit his notion of what he wants in his life.
He has to love me as me and I have to love him as him.
And when you consider that love is an action every bit as much as it is an emotion, you’ll realize how hard that can be.
Accepting that he’ll never view my priorities as his own is a lot harder than me realizing I won’t always view his as my own either. We rarely look at our side of the coin and I think that is the difference between 29 and 21.
Self awareness.
I’m okay with us disagreeing.
And I know the world won’t end if we argue or fight, though it’s rare when we do.
I know when he’s angry he’s going to growl – but he does that with everyone.
And he knows that when I’m angry I need to be alone or I need to be teased into laughing again and that I never hold grudges.
I feel very solid in my relationship.
Very solid in the decisions I’m making regarding my relationship.
I don’t mean that I never have doubts about spending the rest of my life being the person who makes all the doctor’s appointments – I just mean that I realize wishing he’d make some himself isn’t going to inspire him to do that.
Nor will his wishing I’d make every meal both healthy and delicious isn’t going to inspire me to throw out my grandmother’s recipe for cornbread dressing and start with something low-cal.
I love who I am right now.
I love that I no longer feel the need to compartmentalize myself to please those around me.
I love that I know what my buttons are and that I can not react when provoked.
I love that who I am on the inside very closely resembles someone I’d have respect for on the outside.
And I love that I’m marrying Nick knowing that THAT woman is the woman who said yes… not some starry-eyed version of the girl I used to be.
Heck, he proposed after one of the worst days we’ve ever had in our 4 1/2 years together – and that he did that, that THAT is when he chose to tell me he’s committed, he’s fighting for this, he loves me even during our darkest hours – THAT is the man I’m lucky enough to marry.
And knowing that brings me a peace underneath all the bridal craziness that nothing else on the planet could.
In my opinion, 29 is simply PERFECT.
