October 13, 2011
I’m really sick of tragic.
I’m sick of things happening that are because of some short slip of judgment, because of some moment of fate, because of just some tiny infinitesimal THING that changes the world.
I’m angry with people that change lives on some bad day of theirs. That do something that they can’t ever take back. That hurts so many.
Today was a memorial service for a 22 year old kid. A good, fun kid that was about to marry his girlfriend of many years, a kid that was finally working a Real Job and making his way in the world. He was growing up and becoming and because he was stupid when drunk, he’s gone and no one will ever get over it. Certainly not his girlfriend, who had an upfront and personal view of his violent passing. Certainly not my parents, who held her screaming in the middle of the street while the police and coroner worked in the house. Certainly not his parents, woken up in the middle of the night with the worst news any parent can ever receive.
And I’m angry with him.
He was too good for this.
Too fucking good for this.
And I feel this overwhelming weight and sadness at this – this price of living. Running into tragedy and unfairness even as you run into happiness and miracles.
The mixture is nauseating and overwhelming at times.
And I’m just so mad.
But mostly sad.