Echoes.

Part of the pain of being a plus-sized woman is how others view you.
You’re unhealthy for being big.
You’re lazy.
You eat too much.
Sometimes that’s true.  Sometimes it’s not.
Either way – none of the plus-sized folks I know need that information pointed out to them.

Having people coat it with a healthy dose of “I’m just worried about your health” is merely icing to try to cover the concrete cake they handed you with their unspoken judgements.
You can HEAR the unsaid.

It’s worse when the unsaid is coming from your spouse.
Because then the healthy comment becomes valid.
Then the saying something becomes valid because like it or not, your looks and behavior will affect their lives as well.
If you develop diabetes, they’re going to adjust their life and food habits with you.
If you become unable to take care of your children, they’ll pick up the slack.

Us fatties GET that.
We really do.
But when you add a loss of sexual interest on top of that, it’s a rejection that becomes overwhelming to bear.
Simply put, there is not a lot you can do to take that back – that feeling and loss of self worth in the relationship in which we’re supposed to feel the most accepted and comfortable.

Sure, I get that you start dating Barbie and end up with Roseanne that’s going to change a few things.
But what if you marry Roseanne in the first place – and then decide she’s too icky to touch?
Where’s the fairness in that?

There was an article today on plus-sized models.
Gorgeous, sexy plus-sized models that I just dropped my jaw at.
Lemme Link.
HERE.

You see?

They’re beautiful.
They’re sexy.
They’re not perfect… and sure, parts of them are airbrushed – their dimples don’t show and I get that mine do.
But, they’re amazing looking.
So much sexier to me than any of the sticks that get pictured today and I wish – how I wish – that we could combine an acceptance of looks like that and health at the same time.
That it’s okay to be healthy AND be curvy – that plus-sized doesn’t mean gross.

What if those had been the examples in the magazines when I was growing up?
Would men look at me differently now?  Would my ugly years have been my skinny years?  Would my husband chase me around the furniture again?  Would men turn to watch me on the streets?

And more than that…
Would my daughter realize she doesn’t have to stuff herself into clothes that are too small just to give a smaller numerical answer when people ask her what size she wears?
Would I be able to somehow help empower her sense of self?

Makes me wonder.
How would my life be different right now if that type of women were the definition of beauty rather than the ‘fatties’ that disgust those around us?