Echoes.

My husband’s Grampa died last night.
That’s what we called him.
Grampa.

I won’t pretend to have known the man well.
By the time I met him Alzheimers had set in well enough that he was a shadow of the man my husband had grown up with.
My memories of Grampa are of eyes full of mischief, an eye for pretty ladies, a man who was already far enough along in his illness that his schedule was very important to him.
He could talk about the war clearly – a man who had served proudly.  He was diabetic but sneaky about sneaking treats.  So much so that you couldn’t even see his hands grab one… he was that fast.  He liked taking walks outside and even though the man they knew was a memory, the love in his face when he saw the boys or talked to his daughter Mah-rie (Marie, Nick’s mom) was palpable.
I loved him.  He was full of mischief and loving.  Good manners and a watchful eye. 
I know he could no longer understand everything that went on around him, but I could tell that at one time, before the illness had begun to take over, this particular man was as sharp as a tack.

Nick’s memories of Grampa are different, of course.
Nick credits him with helping him grow up, giving him a role model and teaching him about the ways you treat people.  To stand tall.  To be a man.
Nick’s lucky – his family is such that he can say that about a good many of the men in his family, but his grandfather was special.
Nick says he was so smart, so incredibly smart.  He played dominoes with Nicholas even after I’d met him and you could see those sparks of intelligence shine through.
I loved watching the two of them together, the few times I had a chance to, with their heads bent over the dominoes, both concentrating so hard.
Nick wouldn’t give an inch – and his grampa wouldn’t have wanted him to.

I love them.
I loved his Grampa, though I knew him just five short years.
I love his children – my in-laws.
And I love my husband and his siblings.
Marriage changes things.  So much.  I never realized.
But my heart is their heart and this hurts me for them.