Echoes.

This past weekend we celebrated the two week mark coming… and going.
Going with a flash.
These last few days are passing with a speed I didn’t realize was possible and it’s all I can do not to try to grasp time in hands that can barely stop shaking, much less accomplish the impossible.

A dear friend celebrated her nuptuals this past weekend. I’m thrilled for her, having walked through my life hearing the days when life just was too much – and I’m thrilled knowing that when she has a good day, when she has a bad day, she has someone as invested in her as she is in them.
And she took such a leap – a move to a new CONTINENT, a new language, a new life, all for love.

My nerves really need to look at her for an example.
I’m not worried about marrying Nick.
The changes.
The hugeness of this – of the sacrament of this.
That’s ENORMOUS to me.
I wouldn’t have understood how big this was had I just married him for love – in the beginning when I loved him more than myself for no real reason.
But now, when I love him more than myself – or as much as myself on our bad days – I KNOW why and it has everything to do with who he is and who we are together.
And that makes me understand more just how much we’re risking to do this. Just how much people ask of each other when they make these vows.
Just how much different it is to MARRY someone versus live with them.

It also stresses to me just how unfair it is that not everyone in this country is free to do the same. How a biological difference forces two people who are so committed to live together without this final big step.
Because it IS different.
And they deserve that.
No one deserves to be told they can’t marry the person they love simply because someone else thinks they know best.

Part of the wonderful thing about the Bible is that it encourages us to follow the laws of our nation – and we’re not.
You can’t make laws based solely on a religious belief and call them valid and of the people.
And assuming that being gay and a Christian are mutually exclusive is being totally ignorant of life, love, and faith as a whole.
That’s just plain ole not how it works, folks.

Put on your grey-lensed glassed.
There are all KINDS of shades out there.

In the meanwhile I will be thumping out these last projects on my list.
Feeling blessed.
Feeling panicked.
Waiting to return to normal.

And really wondering how all of these differences I already feel inside of myself can get ANY bigger.

And smelling the October which signifies everything good to me about life.
It’s here today – the rain’s been holding it off, but boy does the air smell like crisp sunshine today.