Echoes.

Oh heavens.
Hormones.
They get the best of us sometimes.
I can’t help it.
I’m 3 or 4 (I can’t remember) days off of my meds because I can’t remember to phone them in, and well.
Yeah.
Add that to the hormones that are… rampant this time of the month and you have one emotional Lish.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Some people thing I’m too calm about things I should be emotional about and these periods are enough to make them shut up again for months.
Most people that know me well know I’m entirely too emotional all the time, and so they run for cover during these times.

The rest of the people just don’t give a shit and it’s to them that I entreat – stop writing moving stories/blogs/twitters/emails!
I can’t handle it.

I just teared up at one of my favorite no-nonsense wedding blogs – yes I read wedding blogs, mainly for the articles – and felt incredibly stupid because I was imagining feeling that way myself.

And what they were feeling wasn’t anything I’d ever feel.  A calm sense of relief.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt a calm sense of relief.
A mountain of relief.
A wave of relief, but those both come in loud crashes and tend to overwhelm me.
And then I nap.

But calm?
I don’t do calm.
Though lately I don’t do much of anything – just sit around agape at the list of things I have to do.
Like today – meet with the caterer and tell him what I want to eat on my wedding.

Do they not get that I just want to avoid panic vomit on my wedding dress?
That I’m choking every time I realize it’s time to get invites out?
That I nearly cried this morning when my priest told me he was transferring and someone else would finish up our marriage stuff and marry us?
I can’t think food.

And do you know what that means to someone like me?
I ALWAYS THINK FOOD!
THIS WEDDING IS RUINING MY APPETITE!
lol.
Okay.
So it’s not.   I’m enjoying myself at the moment.  But I’m tearing up at sweet stuff and I HATE that.
I hate being a girl sometimes – and being girlish and ly I hate pretty much all the time – though I’m so darned good at it.

 Bah. Hum-hormones.