Echoes.

1.  I wish I hadn’t eaten junk food all day – I go to the trainer in less than an hour and I FEEL AWFUL.

2.  No one, and I mean NO ONE better make me wear some stupid bachelorette sash when I’m not really into the night of abject drinking and tomfoolery anyway.

3.  Who the hell cares if linens are floor length or waist length?

4.  I hate people.

5.  All these wedding photos make me want to gag today.  They all look so happy and so WELL FINANCED.  I want to live in the scenario where my retirement plans are my parents.

6.  It’s hard to feel sorry for a man who’s worrying about his income to debt ratio when that same man just took a private jet to Aspen.

7.  People that can DIY any and all of their wedding projects make me want to kick someone in the ear.  I don’t care that they went on this mega spree and got enough to make 100 invitations for $25!!???!!!!!  who gives a rat’s ass?  I’d love to be the person only doing 100 invitations or feeding 100 people.  Not that I mind having my entire family there, I don’t.  It’s not about the money, but really – who likes a cheerful person that constantly tells you about all the great sales they have gotten – and their outfit looks better than the expensive-as-hell one you bought?

8.  How the hell does one get started in Letterpress?

9.  When you lose friends, I wish they’d just tell you instead of getting all bitchy with you so you’ll ‘get the picture.’  I don’t need to GET the picture.  I need you to be grown up enough to SHOW me the picture because I don’t play friend charades very well.  Too damned old for games.

10.  I get that I’m a lazy friend and what not - I mean, I can keep up with the best of them online, but in person I just HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO to be social the majority of the time.  But I’ll be there at your funeral, to dance at your wedding, and to  hold you when you cry.  If you won’t do the same for me, get to stepping.  Unless you’re Lindsey and we’ve made a previously discussed arrangement.  ;p  And no, this doesn’t mean I hate you if you can’t make it to my wedding, I’m using it as an example of being there for me when I need you… I do have other subjects besides the wedding.

11.  Speaking of the wedding, why do turtles have such a death wish?  I’ve moved two out of the road this week on my newly discovered crusade to save the basking turtles.  I know it’s warm, little buddies, but you guys don’t survive well in pancake form.

12.  I hate that my favorite shoes always get discontinued.  I decide to wait a week or two until it’s better to buy them, or I buy them and wear them out and can’t get them anymore.  That just pisses me off.  can’t they make extra pairs just for me?  My black shoes are almost worn through – and I LOVE them… and I can’t find the Nina heels I drooled over anymore.  Who the hell is running this footwear joint?  I know I sound slightly amusingly pissed… I’m not.  I’m actually pissed about this.

13.  Why do people think that an antidepressant means you’re not allowed to have bad days anymore?  Like the ‘magic pill’ is supposed to ward your life and opinions from anything and everything negative and you’re supposed to dance around to the musical theme of sunshine and rainbows.  And if you don’t, it’s a personal slap in the face.  Get the fuck over it.  Being chemically imbalanced means being chemically imbalanced.  I can’t plan for the off days.  They just happen.

So there.