Echoes.

I think it has something to do with the cheapest presents imaginable.

I remember when I was a kid – everything was about the family meeting up and hanging out. I looked forward to seeing everyone so much that I could hardly wait to go over and visit when Christmas arrived.
Sure, I loved getting gifts – who doesn’t like fun things?
But I still get gifts now, only the family has fallen apart a bit.

Not in the bad way – more in the way that we’ve lost our compass.

This year without Gran has been much different than I imagined. Much harder. It teaches you things about how people truly impact your life and how each loss multiplies as you get older.

Along with becoming wiser and more solid as a person, you learn to appreciate people – and while I won’t say you miss them more once you’re older, I will say the loss seems to have a wider reach than others have in my life.

This Christmas brings about new events as well. It’s the first that Nick and I have spent together. The last before I marry. The first that we’ve had to try splitting holidays and learning about traditions for each other.

And that’s interesting.

But mostly so far this year has been an effort in finding the cheer when missing family so much – even people who are here still relate in a different way.
I suppose part of life is always longing for little bits of pieces that have passed.
And wondering about future to come.